Well where do I start? Posh's account of the weekend was far too brilliant to even try to match but I think if we all sit down and write a report of the weekend it will not only cover every detail possible but will also mean we have 14 different stories to remember the 'Leicester Fiesta' so here is mine... I am now sitting here recovering and am both physically and mentally drained, sunburnt, bruised and skint but boy was it worth it. Sitting in the East Port Bar at 12noon on Friday, with the first of many pints in hand, I didn't have an inkling of what the next 58 hours were going to bring me, but I can honestly say that it was the best weekend of my life and every minute (all 3480 of them) was a memorable one. The beer flowed as the team assembled one by one over the next three hours and finally months of Lynne's hard work paid off and we had 11 people together (with three more to join on the way) willing to spend a weekend together 350 miles from home, in the name of football, Dunfermline and partying. A big pat on the back, especially to Lynne, but also to each and every one of us for achieving what we did. We can all be extremely proud. So after managing to get all the bags from the East Port to the Watering Hole and loading them all on to the bus we set off in fine voice, with a few crates of beer (each) to keep the throats from drying up and the pars songs as loud as possible. Jamie 'Homer' Miller quickly established himself as the choirmaster although Alan quickly regretted choosing the seat next to him for the journey :-) It didn't matter though, Alan, because the 100th chorus of "Rovers fans don’t you know..." sounded just the same from every corner of the bus!!! We planned to get as far as possible without stopping and Newcastle seemed a good target, but the bladders were causing problems and we were all needing by the bridge and bursting by the time we had to stop at Dreghorn after only 21 miles!!!!!!!! The metro centre in Newcastle was the second (and third) pit stop and 'Clueless' encountered his first useless security guard of the weekend, who was unable to assist in Colin's quest to find the nearest 'offy'. Back onto the bus after a kickabout in the car park with the quest getting desperate until Asda kindly appeared round the corner to ably assist in the purchase of extra refreshments. A quick spin round the car park in Johnnies trolly meant I lost all sensations for the next hour and when I eventually woke up, I found myself in a puddle and was extremely concerned until I discovered the half empty can of Stella still in my lap. There was seemingly a pit stop to pick up Ally, we all got out to water the bushes, and a potty appeared from nowhere during this period but I'll just have to take your word for that as I don't remember any of it (A worrying trend that increased rapidly throughout the next two days) Burger King at a service station somewhere was the next (and last) stop but my only memory of that is strange headgear (empty boxes of lager), more songs and Colin getting his first phone number of the weekend by winning a girl some money on the bandits. I'm sure it was all videod so we'll find out if it really happened when Jamie plays the tape back. Arrived at the Travel Inn well after midnight but six hours driving and an hour and a half of stops is not bad going. Special mention to Keith for driving all the way, putting up with the racket in the back and still sitting at 70 all the way. Well done mate. Plenty of beer and crisps in mine and Lynne's 'safe room', as Jamie christened it, with some great moments caught on camera again before we moved to Colin and Grant's room to discuss tactics for the next day. A quick trip over the motorway at 2.15am for Grant, Colin and I, to the cinema meant Colin came across his second useless security guard of the day who wouldn't let us into the cinema to see the 2am showing of the Phantom Menace!!!! To bed then, to get four hours kip before a big cooked brekkie and our big day ahead of us. Arrived at the pitches in great spirit, all looking great in Parsca t-shirts and drill tops. Met QPR right away and made our way to the pitches to set up camp for the day. Colin, Johnnie and Grant's search for a beer tent and toilets resulted in failure but the did manage to catch the opening ceremony before Hibs first game against Villa at 9:30. With no nets or referees our pitch was delayed by 20 mins right away before Accrington Stanley Bowles (QPR) kicked off against Punch Drunk FC (Ipswich) a close game with neither team looking like they’d run riot against us was settled by a single goal from QPR. The Cellnetters (Middlesborough) then took to the field against Notts County and again the teams were showing nothing to worry us and we raised our hopes slightly in thinking that we wouldn't be the whipping boys that some people had suggested we would be. 3-1 to 'boro reflected the game in that they were much stronger than County. Some mingling, team photos and a quick warm up and we were raring to get onto the pitch and open our first tournament for Parscelona against reigning league and Worldnet champions ASB. The pitches weren't too bad, although a few craters in centre midfield and really solid ground meant the ball bobbled about a lot and it didn't suit Parscelona's passing and running game. The half hour game seemed to drag on and on as both teams shut each other down with solid midfields (a great change for us) and superb defensive lines giving both goalkeepers only a few saves to make, but Ally performed great when called upon and kept an amazing shutout. A 0-0 draw was a dream result for us but we still came off the pitch slightly disappointed in that we could have sneaked something from the game. QPR came off the pitch swearing at each other and not looking too pleased at all. A half hour rest to watch Middlesborough get even stronger and make it two wins out of two to put them in pole position by beating Ipswich by two goals to nil, then we were straight back onto the pitch for our game against Notts County. Until the ref decided to take a break for 45 mins that is. Stood on the pitch talking to Notts County players until the mentioned the dreaded sport cricket so we went to sunbathe and left our expert Lynne to chat away to them. Eventually the ref arrived back and a few more stretches to get us back in the mood meant we went straight into them from kick off. The took it and passed it back to the edge of their box where Boy Wonder Grant Cotter intercepted the ball, took it round the defender and shot a thunderbolt straight through their 6 foot tall reserve goalkeeper. 1-0 to the Pars and our first ever tournament goal. The rest of the game was all pars but we failed to put away our chances and although we put the ball in the goals twice more that half they were both ruled off, one for offside and one for a foul. Started the second half knowing that we needed a bigger cushion for that game and also a few goals to boost our gold difference if we were to need it later on - if only we knew how much we were to need it. Davie Galloway mentioned watching someone score from the kick-off last weekend and the message was passed to Colin who was up for shooting right away. So Alan and Grant kicked off, passed back to Colin in the centre circle, who rolled the ball a yard in front of him then launched a shot from just inside his own half. It looked great right away and had plenty of height as well as being on target. As the ball looped towards goal you could tell it was going into the top/middle of the goals and only the goalkeeper could prevent otherwise, but the goalie was far to slow at realising what was happening and reached up to late to stop the ball going in and Colin scoring what surely must have been the goal of the tournament. The whole Pars team was jubilant and chased Captain Col round the pitch before he rounded it off with a flip. Confidence was sky high now and we attacked for the rest of the game, but only managed to get it past the tall goalie once more (he made two or three decent saves, which had a major outcome on the whole group) Colin was the one that managed to get it past him, with a shot on the turn from the edge of the box into the bottom corner. He just missed his hat-trick as well when a defender headed a shot onto the post and out for a corner. A 3-0 win looked good on paper though, as well as being another shut-out for the defence and Ally (who pulled of a great save in the last minute by tipping a shot, that was going in the top left corner, over the bar) it put us 2nd in the group at that stage ahead of QPR by 2 goals with us both being on 4 points, behind 'boro on 6. Ipswich and Notts Co sat bottom with 0 points each after everyone had played 2 games: Middlesborough 2 2 0 0 5 1 6 Dunfermline 2 1 1 0 3 0 4 QPR 2 1 1 0 1 0 4 Ipswich 2 0 0 2 0 3 0 Notts County 2 0 0 2 1 6 0 The crunch game in the group (according to the programme and officials BEFORE they had even heard of Parscelona) was between two previous winners of Worldnet QPR (98) and Middlesborogh (96) and there was seemingly a bit of history between the two teams in that they weren’t the best of friends. But we chose to miss most of the game by heading to the burger vans for lunch and watching Hibs take on Rangers (who were both almost out by that stage and their nil nil draw made sure of it) and walking over to see Celtic win 7-0 after steamrollering their group. Got back to find out 'Boro had one 1-0 through a 'dodgy penalty' (QPR's words - no-one else’s) and effectively qualify the Cellnetters for the next stage, while putting QPR in a position that meant the fate of the group was no longer in their hands but up to us. Notts County faced Ipswich next and Ipswich ran out comfortable 3-0 winners as Notts Co fielded their 4ft0 14 year old keeper again who made a few good saves but had no chance of shots in the air. Parscelona were back in action again this time to take on Middlesborough who were on a high after beating QPR and securing a place in the next round. A draw against us would have seen them win the group, and that would also be enough for Dunfermline to creep ahead of QPR so as the game progressed and no team were stronger than the other with both playing solidly at the back and either missing the few chances that came their way or the goalkeepers saving them a nil-nil draw looked like the perfect result all round and would have kept everybody (except QPR) happy. But it wasn't to be and an attack by the Cellnetters in the last five minutes sent their star striker (who hadn't scored all day) on a chase down the wing, Ally, Johnnie and Ross all pursued the ball as well, but it was the speedy little striker who get his toe to it first and directed it brilliantly into the goals. Such a disappointment but we kept our heads up and went all at them for the last few minutes but just couldn't get that elusive equaliser against what was a quality, well organised Middlesborough team. But nevertheless we did ourselves proud and still had it all to play for as it was effectively in our own hands, being ahead of QPR on goal difference and just having to match whatever they did in their last game, in our game against Ipswich. Ipswich were probably out, barring bizarre results of QPR losing and then Ipswich beating us but were still in great spirits and played with the same commitment whereas Notts County had given up, and although they were still a great bunch of lads, they did lose all confidence, and even two or three of their players left to play cricket leaving them with a depleted team to take on QPR in what was a crucial game. The table now stood like this with QPR v Notts Co and Parscelona v Ipswich still to play Middlesborough 4 4 0 0 7 1 12 Dunfermline 3 1 1 1 3 1 4 QPR 3 1 1 1 1 1 4 Ipswich 3 1 0 2 3 3 3 Notts County 3 0 0 3 1 9 0 We sat and watched their game knowing that we needed to win our game by two less goals than they won theirs did and were fairly confident of doing so. Until they put one past the despairing kid in goals within seconds. Then another and another and another. It was a bit of a farce and the score finished 6-0 going on 10. So we needed a 4 goal victory for a penalty shoot out with QPR or five for outright qualification. Could we do it? We’d give it our best shot. Changed back to two up front with Jamie Miller moving forward to support Grant this time and it paid off with Jamie slotting away a neat goal to put us one up. More chances followed but as the game went on the task got harder and harder. Heads never went down though and we tried right to the bitter end but the game finished 1-0 to Parscelona and was therefore a hollow victory. We walked off the park proud though to a standing ovation from all 4 other teams in the group as well as fans of other teams who’d gathered to watch our game. Group table therefore finished like so: Middlesborough 4 4 0 0 7 1 12 QPR 4 2 1 1 7 1 7 Dunfermline 4 2 1 1 4 1 7 Ipswich 4 1 0 3 3 4 3 Notts County 4 0 0 4 1 15 0 We then stayed to watch the meaningless internationals in which Grant, Colin, Jamie and Ally all represented Dunfermline along with three Hibees in the now famous black pars top. A few warm beers were sunk to get the night started and then we headed back to the hotel to get changed and ready for the night out. We were completely gutted at getting put out the tournament, especially on goal difference but one good point was that our tired players now knew they didn’t need to get up the next morning to take on some of the best teams in the tournament but could go out and party all night drinking as much as possible and showing Leicester folk how to have a good time! The nuclear powered monsoon showers took off the layers of sunburnt skin and the glad rags were all put on before heading over to BK for yet another burger meal. Also discovered a bridge over the motorway only 10 feet from where we had jumped a wall and ran over the road at 2 o’clock the previous morning. Doh! A mouthful of a pint was downed at the pub next to BK before the taxis arrived early and took all 14 of us into town to the Halftime Orange. Was pretty quick by the time we arrived as most had made their appearance and moved on, but managed to find the Hibs lot and join up with them. Also chatted to a couple of Ipswich boys for a bit, the QPR team and Davie Lacey who was struggling to stand up by this point! The Hibs lot then managed to persuade us to join them at the Fan Club where they had been the previous night although half of them weren’t to keen on the idea so it gave us a slight indication of the kind it dive it was going to be. The bouncers telling us it was shit didn’t improve the situation but the cheap beer and loud indie music meant it reminded us of some similar dives in Edinburgh. A group of 25 of us meant it was going to be a good night wherever we went and apart from the sweat and lack of women it turned out to be a great laugh. The diehards stayed on to the end and then 5 of them disappeared for a taxi leaving Col, Grant, Povey, me and Lynne+1 to go for kebabs and pizza. Nightmare trying to get home at that time and taxis were impossible to get, with shouts of ‘taxi for Schyma’ resulting in failure every time. We did flag one down eventually and all got home safe and sound. Only thing left to say is that the Pars/Hibs management ‘threesome’ rumours are totally and utterly untrue. Up on the Sunday then and over to the pitches after departing the hotel. Celtic were out by the time we got there but QPR and Middlesborough had both got through to the quarter finals, which reflected well on us. Saw QPR beat Watford and ‘boro go 1-0 up against Arsenal which would have meant both of our conquerors into separate semi with a chance of meeting again in the final. What a story that would have been for the pars eh? Wasn’t to be though and the Arse equalised to take it into the golden goal and showed their superiority by scoring first to knock out a really good Middlesborough side who deserved to go further. So that was that then, we said our goodbyes to all our new friends, picked up a Hibbee and waved goodbye to Leicester before heading home. Not as much singing on the bus this time but the atmosphere was still there as we listened to Paul Lawrie win the Open golf. Some great driving again by Ally then Keith saw us arrive in plenty time for a pint (or two) each in the East Port Bar to round off another whole drinking day and take my total of beers for the weekend to well over 50. Superb. Hope your still reading by this points as I did seem to drag over things a bit too much but such a great time was had that I didn’t want to miss anything out. Although I’ve not even mentioned any of Jamie’s crackers from the weekend at all. How will I ever forget the time when Ipswich were leaving after the last league game and kindly offered us the rest of their box of bananas as they’d finished with them – Cue Homer J. “Oi – is that you trying to pull the old poisoned banana trick again?” I’m still laughing now. I think a book should be compiled with the many other that he came out with over the weekend and we should all vote for our favourite one. Cheers again Jamie – you did brilliant to keep us all laughing the whole weekend. Just like to thank Lynne one more time for all the work she put in organising the whole weekend and to say that it probably wouldn’t have happened without you. Well done again - You’re a star. fraz. Spice-Boy, alcoholic, boring dependable right-back and above all - PROUD