31/03/01 St Mirrenoff 7 Parscelona 3

March 31st 2001

St Mirrenoff 7 Parscelona 3
Ferguslie Sports Centre, Paisley
40 mins per half

Another game, another humping. Parscelona continued their excellent away form, by notching up their 12th defeat from 15 away ties, their 8th straight defeat and, most unlikely of all, their third 7-3 defeat of the season. On the bright side, at least we can score goals, even if we conspire to lose even more.

This game looked promising to start with, as the weather had considerably improved and, for the first Parscelona game in ages, actually looked like it wasn't winter for a change. In a reversal of the last occasion that these two teams played here, St Mirrenoff were short of men this time and spent much of the first half waiting for subs to arrive. Pars didn't quite capitalise on this but kept it very close in the first half as they played some good football with the wind on their backs. That isn't a reference to Keith Mackie by the way.

While St Mirrenoff made an early dash down the right wing resulting in a first minute goal kick, the real chances did not start flying about until some time into the first half.

About fifteen minutes in, St Mirrenoff tried their luck with a couple of efforts but one shot fell wide and the other was volleyed straight at the ever-agile Keith Mackie in goal.

End to end stuff ensued as Alan Maxwell, Alasdair Mercer and Jamie Wilson combined to provide the Pars with a couple of half chances at the other end. With 22 minutes gone, Pars entered new territory by actually taking the lead. A St Mirren clearance was not powerful enough and Calum Norris promptly ran it back in again to fire low past the keeper for his first ever goal for Parscelona. Or first ever goal in the right net at least.

St Mirrenoff promptly piled on the pressure and an ambitious attacker fired a wild volley, which dipped menacingly. Thankfully it was already over the fence by the time it dipped. Another volley was attempted shortly afterwards but was charged down by Grant Macleod.

Within two minutes of Pars taking the lead, the Saints drew level. Following a St Mirren corner, the ball was fired back into the box from the left and slammed home by the St Mirren left-back.

The hosts could have added a second just two minutes later but through a combination of puma-like speed and a finely toned athletic physique, Keith "Le Chat" Mackie managed to pull off a wonderful save at the feet of the advancing striker who had picked the ball up from the right.

The ball was quickly humped down the pitch and when a Saints defender passed the ball back to his keeper, the goalie's kick careered off Alan Maxwell and eventually back into his hands.

Three minutes later, St Mirren were posing all kinds of problems again with another corner, but once more the majestic gazelle in goals gracefully plucked the ball from the air despite claims of offside anyway.

Parscelona managed some good play down the right wing with Alan, Jamie and Alasdair once again providing all sorts of 1-2 type jiggery-pokery but lacked the final killer touch. Jamie then departed to see if a father and son partnership would have any more success, giving way to the legend that is Alex Mercer.

Davie Sanders came close for the Pars when his shot was fired wide of the target, but the ball was soon back up the Pars end. Play stopped when Grant Macleod took his weekly kick in the head and when it restarted Parscelona took a 36th minute lead.

A Saints defender mishit a pass, which bobbled towards the keeper but didn't give him a chance of getting there before Alan Maxwell nipped in and sent a first time lob over the keeper's head from the edge of the box. I know how that sounds, but it's the truth this time, honestly.

Parscelona's answer to Billy Elliott came to the rescue once more as the balletic Keith pulled off another good diving save as a cross from the right beat the Pars defence. A counter attack was launched but died out as the through ball was just too fast for Alan to latch onto.

Three minutes left of normal time and St Mirren equalised. A corner to the near post was sent out to the edge of the box, and was promptly fired back in again past the helpless Keith Mackie.

St Mirren continued to pile on the pressure and, following a couple of close efforts in the dying minutes (one over the bar and another saved by Keith), took the lead on the stroke of half time. The ball was played into the left of the box and fired across goal, before being stabbed in from two yards out by an offside-looking Saints attacker. The goal stood however and, following one last Pars attack in injury time that was foiled by the Saints keeper, half time arrived with the hosts one goal in front.

Parscelona made some changes at half time and they proved to be inspired with substitute Stuart Holland taking just three minutes to get caught offside.

At the other end, St Mirren had a bit more success, a cross being thumped home to make it 4-2 following a quick break down the right. St Mirren continued to pressure the Pars, now fighting against the wind as well as their laughable lack of fitness. A corner was dispatched into the neighbouring field and ten minutes into the second half Johnnie's cries of "****ing close him down" accompanied a snap shot that found its way past Keith Mackie to make it 5-2.

Pars had the occasional attack but Alex Mercer's shot was never likely to provide too much trouble for the home team.

Jamie Wilson and Stuart Holland both tried to get Parscelona back in it but couldn't find a way through. They were shown up with the arrival of first-half referee Keith Rapley - his first contribution was a defence-splitting back heel that sadly didn't find players deserving enough of its Brazil-like quality.

Twenty minutes into the second half Parscelona did split the Saints defence open again, but the ball was promptly sent sailing wide of the far post.

Two minutes later, Parscelona were lucky not to concede a penalty when Davie Sanders rather stupidly leapt up and punched the ball clear in his own box. The St Mirren players were outraged, and justifiably so given that the referee was the only man within five-hundred yards who didn't see the offence.

St Mirren continued to fire in shots from all over and eventually got a sixth goal just after half an hour in. The ball broke through the Parscelona defence to a lone St Mirren striker who finished with ease from a position about five yards offside. Or at least he would have been if the just-reappeared Alan Maxwell hadn't been standing in the six-yard box looking lost.

Pars had to continue weathering the storm and Keith Mackie was once again called into action to prevent the Saints going further ahead with seven minutes remaining. It wasn't even safe on the sidelines as subbed Stuart Holland caught a stray clearance in the bollocks, shortly before another moment of pressure on the pitch saw Keith make another save, this time the shot being straight at him.

Despite a brief sight of goal when a Keith Rapley through ball met the Saints keeper, it was the home team who scored again. With one minute remaining, a through ball punctured the back two and was finished with a neat left foot shot past the defenceless Keith.

Pars were to get the final piece of the action however as a through ball from Scott Smyth saw the Saints defence in confusion allowing Fraser Clark to round the keeper and tap home, just before collapsing with a massive nosebleed.

Three minutes of injury time was played, not sure why, in which not a lot happened. Then we went to the pub where Harpo was kind enough to serve us sandwiches and we all lived happily ever after.

Pars squad: K. Mackie, J. MacDougall, F. Clark, J. Wilson, A. Maxwell, C. Norris, M. Falconer, G. Macleod, Alex Mercer, Alasdair Mercer, K. Rapley, S. Smyth, S. Clark, D. Sanders, S. Holland