4/11/00 St Johnstone 7 Parscelona 3

November 4th 2000

St Johnstone 7 Parscelona 3
South Inch, Perth

Picture stolen from www.dafc.net

St Johnstone kicked off with the wind behind them and although it was cold the rain mercifully stopped before Saturday morning. The first shot fell to Saints inside the first minute but didn't trouble Ronz in the Pars goal.

The first substitution occurred in the third minute when the real referee arrived, having had his car in for its MOT. His first action of the game was to award a goal kick following a dreadful attempt at goal by Jamie Wilson following Colin McKean's cross.

Jamie and Colin combined again a minute later when Jamie's headflick from an Alan Maxwell throw found its way to McKean in the box. His effort was saved by the Saints' keeper.

Following an offside decision against the home team, the Pars launched a counterattack. Jamie Wilson played a through ball to Ross Arnott but the speedie old man's cutback found no takers.

On the ten minute mark, Saints went one up. Some dreadful marking from a corner allowed Kevin Heller to volley home from the back post. The Saints had another good attempt a few minutes later when a twenty-yard volley fell wide of the target.

Pars got back into it just before the twenty-minute mark when Colin McKean ran down the right wing and floated a cross into the box... then through the keeper's hands... and then into the net. They all count though.

Attacker and match-report-note-taker swapped places midway through the first half when Keith Mackie came on for Alan Maxwell, but Keith barely had time to get into the game before Saints took the lead again, with that man Kev popping up again to bundle home another cross at the back post. Following Callum Norris' off-target shot for the Pars, Saints almost got another one. A poor passback landed Pars in trouble but the attacker who latched onto it took the ball too far past Ronz and ran it wide.

Ronz was called into action to make another couple of impressive saves following more poor defending but couldn't do anything about Saints' third, a fine strike from the edge of the box. Three-one at half-time.

Parscelona were the stronger team in the opening stages of the second half and after Jamie Wilson had fired wide from the edge of the box, they pulled one back.

With the ball bouncing about in the Saints box, returning-from-the-bench Alan Maxwell was chopped to the ground. Having whinged for almost the entire history of Parscelona about being the self-proclaimed Penalty King, he was finally allowed to take one. Three-two, and a fine penalty it was, if I say so myself. Alan missed out on the chance of a second goal when Jamie Wilson's low cross in front of goal was an inch too far ahead of him.

Jamie Wilson managed another shot wide shortly after but eventually grabbed his first ever goal. A through ball by Colin to Craig resulted in a perfect cross, leaving Jamie with an easy close-range tap-in.

Having drawn level, Pars couldn't hold themselves together, and within two minutes of their spectacular comeback they were a goal down again. From a corner, once again the marking was apalling and another St Johnstone header found its way into the net. Two minutes later Keith Mackie revealed himself to be a complete pansy by complaining that it was too cold to write anything, and consequently the rest of the match report is a bit of a mess.

Saints made it five when Ronz parried a shot across goal and Steven Clark was outpaced by a predatory Saints striker, then grabbed a sixth courtesy of some more woeful defending. Following another close effort from Parscelona when Craig shot where he should have crossed, St Johnstone rounded off their gubbing of the Pars with a seventh goal. Davie Sanders' blatant shove in the box gave the home side a penalty and their last goal.

Pars were getting desperate but sadly all they had to offer was a mazy run by goalkeeper Ronz, the worst penalty claim ever by Keith "ooh, hark at me falling over like a big jessie" Mackie and a few efforts way wide of the goal.

It was a closer game than the scoreline suggests, but St Johnstone deserved the win. We don't really care to be honest, as they took us back to the pub where we got sandwiches and stovies laid on for us. Nice.

Fraser Clark's version of events can be found here.

Pars squad: Ronz, J. Hunkin, J. MacDougall, F. Clark, S. Clark, R. Arnott, C. McKean, D. Sanders, Craig #1, Craig #2, J. Wilson, K. Mackie, A. Maxwell, Alex Mercer, C. Norris